Anxiety permeates so many different aspects of your life. You might be traveling, going on vacation, and something that would bring you a lot of excitement now brings you a lot of stress and anxiety. What happens if you’re thousands of miles away and you can’t go back to your safe space which is your house? What happens if you have a panic attack somewhere and you can’t escape?
This feeling of being depressed before and after vacation is more common than you might think. Whether it’s pre-travel jitters or post-vacation blues, understanding how to manage these emotions is key to reclaiming your joy.
The Anxiety of Anticipation
What happens as a consequence is you end up losing confidence in yourself and your body and your mind. I’m Ashley Horsfall, the author of Getting Through Tough Times, and today I wanted to talk to you about a trip I’m taking next week. I’m leaving on Sunday to go to London for my third time by myself.
You might think that after going to Europe alone three times it gets easier. The truth is that it doesn’t really. In the weeks leading up, it feels a little stressful, but I found it’s not necessarily the anxiety that sets in so much as depression. For whatever reason, that’s just how it works for me.
Why Does This Happen?
One of the most important things to understand is that your nervous system is always sensing your environment. Whenever you’re in a situation that’s a new environment, even though there’s no threat, when you’re in a sensitized state because you’re in a new environment, it’s going to be on high alert. So because it’s on high alert, what you experience is intense anxiety symptoms.
Strategies to Fight Pre-Trip Depression
For this trip, I’m trying to fight some of the depression that I experienced the last two times I traveled and see if I can sort of work on a solution that will stop me from having such a rough time while I’m on the road.
1. Pack Early:
My first technique to do that is to pack early. I still have a few days to go, but I am almost entirely packed, which makes me feel less anxious but also good knowing that when I show up on Monday, I’m not going to have a breakdown because I can’t find toothpaste or a toothbrush right away. So that’s sort of my plan to curb that immediately is just make sure that I’m well prepared.
2. Build a Support System:
This leads me to my next technique to fighting depression is to have a support system of friends and family members that I can count on to provide comfort when I need it or support when I need it. I think that’s a really good thing that social media can provide. Being able to talk to people that I know and not feel so disconnected from the world that I’m familiar with.
If you are planning a trip to ease your mind, choosing the right destination matters. Deciding between Sicily or Mallorca might give you the sunny escape you need to reset.
3. Journaling:
I also plan to write a lot so I have empty journals that I take with me so that I can make sure I get all these feelings out and I’m not holding on to them as I tend to do and then eventually reach a breaking point and it all just kind of pours out.
Managing Emotions While Away
It’s important to me to set goals because I am not a person who feels naturally enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is something that I just don’t find easy. So setting goals helps me sort of realize like, “Oh, I can do something,” and by the end of the day, I’m happy that I did it and it builds some steam for the next day and helps me keep going.
If I don’t make a point of doing these things, it’s really easy to sit in bed at a hostel and kind of feel sorry for myself for being alone on holidays or not having friends or family members around me.
Finally, I really recommend something that works for me really well is to have a regroup session every once in a while by yourself. For me, I will stay in hostels with maybe five to nine other people in the same room for most of the time and then every once in a while I will get my own room so that I have a place to sort of just be myself and not feel like I have to keep all these things stored up inside.
The Post-Vacation Crash
Hi, my name is Lyanna Scott and I’m the coping with depression blogger. Today I’m going to talk about post-vacation blues which I am suffering from. I recently returned from a trip to Malta, which is a small island in the Mediterranean. My sister lives there and this winter has been so awful I decided that I was going to take an impromptu trip to see her.
I just got back on Friday and despite my hope that I wouldn’t have the post-vacation blues, it’s been about 48 hours and I’m already starting to feel the pull, the depression settling in.
It’s a double-edged sword when you have depression and you go away. The reason that you’re going away is because your depression is starting to get worse and then you feel better when you’re away, but then when you get back you have to work really hard to make sure that the depression doesn’t really send you in a tailspin.
Coping Strategies for the Return
There are a few things that I did—one thing before my trip and a couple of things since—that I’m hoping will help to ease the burden of some of these feelings.
1. Buffer Days:
The first thing that I did to combat post-vacation depression is I booked a couple of days after the trip off. So I landed on a Friday and that gives me Saturday and today, Sunday, to recuperate from any kind of flight fatigue.
2. Forced Socialization:
The second thing is I forced myself to leave the house today. Yesterday being Saturday, I was so tired I just stayed in my pajamas all day and I rested. But today, even though I wanted to do the exact same thing, I forced myself to get dressed and get out of the house. I went to visit my parents, I showed them my pictures, I recounted the events to them.
3. Ease Back into Work:
The third thing that I’m able to do is work from home tomorrow. Tomorrow’s Monday and working from home will help to ease me back into my routine. By working from home, I can stay cozy in my house and just get through all those emails and get caught up on some of the work that I’ve missed.
Sometimes the stress of returning involves dealing with mundane issues like a rental car damage claim, which can exacerbate the post-trip blues.
Why Recovery Matters More Than The Trip
Anxiety is like a wrecking ball; it will affect every domain of your life. It will destroy your financial life, it will destroy your relationship life, it will destroy your vacations. Even if you are able to build something, anxiety is just going to come back, swing at it, and break it again.
It’s important to make recovery your primary goal. Things like vacations are fine, but it doesn’t matter if you’re not recovered. What’s the point of having all the vacations in the world if you’re stuck in your own head? Even if you’re on the best vacation in the world, your dream vacation, would you be able to enjoy it?
What a lot of people do is they try to go on vacation not prioritizing their recovery. Not only do they ruin the experience for themselves, they hit their own confidence, they affect everybody else around them. But if you were able to really focus on your own recovery journey, then you can go and do these things and you can actually enjoy it.
Travel Anxiety Coping Table
| Phase | Strategy | Purpose |
|---|---|---|
| Pre-Trip | Pack Early | Reduces immediate stress and panic |
| During Trip | Set Daily Goals | Creates a sense of accomplishment |
| During Trip | Regroup Alone | Allows emotional decompression |
| Post-Trip | Buffer Days | Physical recovery from fatigue |
| Post-Trip | Socialize | Reliving positive memories |
In fact, you won’t only enjoy it but it will actually be little nuggets of confidence. You’ll be able to show yourself, “Oh my god, I was able to go on vacation and even when these symptoms popped up, I responded to them.”
If you want to ensure a smooth journey, having reliable gear helps. Check out Away vs Tumi to find luggage that won’t let you down.
I hope this helps. I hope it gives you the permission to enjoy vacation and go out because a lot of your recovery isn’t going to be behind watching these videos; it’s actually going to be living your life and pushing your boundaries.
Finding a Guide for Your Journey
One of the best things you can do if you really want to focus on this is find a guide. Somebody that can guide you on the journey, especially in the beginning, to really be the training wheels for you. As you build momentum, you can start doing things like vacation or traveling. That’s the fastest way; I think that’s the way that collapses time the most.
You can, you’re more than welcome to obviously do it on your own. There’s a bunch of resources; you have a lot more resources than I did. That being said, still the fastest way is really finding somebody that can guide you through the journey, especially in the beginning, to really focus on having you become your own guide. Not a consultant, not somebody that’s there to help you cope or manage, but really focus on overcoming this where you can be autonomous.
Think of the phrase, “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” You want somebody to teach you how to fish so that you can really be self-reliant and be able to do whatever you want in your life.
The Reality of “White-Knuckling” It
A lot of people what they try to do is they just try to white-knuckle it. They say, “You know what, I’m just gonna go on vacation, I don’t care what the anxiety does to me, I’m just gonna go and I’m just gonna live.” And what ends up happening? They go on vacation, they freak out, and then all of a sudden their confidence gets hit and then they go into this sabotage where they’re like, “Oh, I’m never going to get out of this.”
What happened was is that number one, they don’t really know what’s happening. They don’t really understand why they are experiencing panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, or physical symptoms. Number two, they don’t believe that it’s all anxiety. They feel like the symptoms are so intense that it might be something else.
And the third thing is they don’t know how to respond. What happens when anxiety comes full force? What they end up doing is that they end up resisting it. And what they don’t make the connection of is the fact that when you resist it, it actually perpetuates the cycle.
Why Avoidance Makes It Worse
People think resisting makes the anxiety subside. It does lower it a little bit, but the problem is is that it becomes almost like an avalanche. It becomes almost like a tsunami; the more you hold back, the higher the wave gets and the more intense and more chronic the symptoms become.
So what I would say is for somebody who’s new in the cycle, once they understand how anxiety works and how to respond, then it’s about exposing themselves, responding, and then making other things more important. A lot of people try to focus on, “Okay I want to go to my vacation and have a good time.” That really shouldn’t be the goal for someone who’s on the recovery journey.
The goal for someone who’s on the recovery journey is simply to go on vacation, and when the symptoms pop up, respond and still keep enjoying the vacation as much as you can. But what happens is people put way too much pressure on themselves. They say, “No no, I need to enjoy my vacation.” When they feel like they can’t enjoy the vacation, they start beating themselves up.
Dealing with Travel Distractions
Another thing that can be really helpful when you’re traveling, especially if you’re someone who has racing thoughts or perhaps has some physical symptoms of anxiety like a racing heart or you just start to feel really nervous and sweaty and fidgety, is having some distractions. Lean into that fidgetiness.
Maybe it’s something to play with with your hands like knitting while you’re on a plane or on a train. Maybe that looks like a fidget spinner. Maybe that looks like downloading some shows to watch or having a great book on tape that’s really going to immerse you in another kind of space in your mind.
So letting yourself think about what distractions might really grab me and take me out of this nervous space I’m in and place me in a funner headspace. One that is distracted in a fun way. And having plenty of distractions, so you know perhaps a distraction for each leg of your journey just to keep things interesting.
Calming Techniques for the Road
Another thing that can be very helpful and can also be under the kind of umbrella of distractions is having some calming and relaxation techniques that you can just put in your back pocket. Now that could be a guided meditation. That could also be a scent, maybe like an oil or a lotion that you can smell with your hands and it’s just going to soothe your nervous system a little bit.
Maybe that is a movement practice, a gentle like stretching routine that you can do within your seat or wherever you are in your travel experience that’s going to release a little bit of tension for you. And so having some of those things in your back pocket just in case you need them can be really helpful and help you feel more prepared for whatever state of being you might find yourself in during your travel experience.